Marriage Is Hard!

 Source: ILOVEYOURSTYLE

Yep, I said it, whoever said Marriage was a breeze was looking at it through some double thick rosy glasses! I haven’t blogged much. I’ve been quiet, my personal friends know that when I become quiet it’s because I’m dealing with something.  Marriage has been hard to get used to for this encore chick! Don’t get me wrong, my hubby is the best, he cannot be any more loving and he makes an excellent teammate. 

After 9 years of living the single (and divorced) life I grew to love my independence, and well, being married doesn’t necessarily encourage independence, lol. Since I’ll be the last one to admit it I’ll blame it on the tours to Iraq, the wedding and move that followed…quickly, maybe to quick for me.

I think I’m still in shock from it all, I have one good day, then I have three bad ones, I guess it could all be much worse. 

I do thank God everyday for what he has given me, where he has brought me from and for everything he does for me on a daily basis. Today may be a gloomy day but I seek comfort in knowing that the sun will shine again tomorrow.

I kidnapped My Husband!

Sorry for pulling a disappearing act! We are both back to work and given our schedules we will have no time off during the summer months. Last week I decided to kidnap my husband for a quick R&R in Tulum, Mexico. He didn't know where he was going until the morning we left for the airport. He was not happy after I told him he would have to leave behind any liquids, razors, etc. He was prepared to drive, not to fly.

I had Tulum, Mexico on my travel bucket list for a while and I was finally able to find the right time and budget to go. Once we arrived in Cancun (which was a very easy airport to get through) we rented a car and drove about an hour and a half south. Once we arrived to our small hotel and were shown to our cabana, this was the view we found from our front porch.

We relaxed, had great food and visited the Tulum Mayan Ruins.

It was a wonderful short trip but as always we are glad to be home! Do you have any favorite last minute getaway locations? 

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Have you forgotten? I know you have not, if you close your eyes, take a deep breath and blurt it out you will realize it's still there, after all these years. As a child in elementary school I used to carry a notebook around with my "sketches". I did this for a long time until another girl asked me to "borrow" my notebook, I never saw it again.

I remember going nagging my mother at the checkout line asking her to buy me these very expensive bridal magazines, you know the ones, the real thick ones that cost way too much for a magazine full of ads. I was growing up in Puerto Rico (even though I was born in Miami) and she promptly point out that these magazines were in English (she didn't remember I still knew how to read and write in English).

As I grew up my dreams took form and included a prestigious fashion design school in NYC, we  didn't have the money for me to attend and I didn't have the skills to enter the program so instead I joined the good 'ol US Army. During my Senior year of HS I'd become the state president of a very large and known club for vocational schools, I knew I was meant to be a leader. Since I couldn't become a fashion designer I resolved to become a leader.

My career in the military has been great and my performance has been stellar (if I may say so) but those childhood dreams never left....I tried to change them, gave myself alternatives and told myself it would be too hard. Along the way I took fashion design courses in more colleges than I can recall right away and finally I faced my dreams, I want to design bridal gowns.

While attending one of those design colleges around the country I had a classmate who is an avid tennis player, I remember seeing some of her projects and they always involved fitness and music. Earlier this year I received an email from her, she was launching her own athletic apparel line, I was (and am) so excited for her. Right at that moment I realized that no dream is too hard or unattainable if you work hard and NEVER GIVE UP!

Please stop by Denise's Facebook page or Website and tell her what you think of the line. I loved it and already ordered some items, they fit and feel great.  I wish her all the success in the world and I can't wait to see more of her line.

Photo: Denise Cronwall

What about you? What are your dreams? Please share!

The Honeymoon is over!

Dear bloggy friends, please excuse my prolonged absence, I've been trying to set up a routine and figure out what's next now that the actual honeymoon is over (I hate that!). Now that the wedding is over I am considering what to change around on the blog and what to do next on a personal level.

We did get a chance to escape to warmer weather and headed south. We enjoyed a trip to Epcot Center (Disney) since Mr. E hadn't been there. It was tons of fun!

Changes are hard but they are oh so good for you, who knows what direction the blog will go, all I know is that I want to keep in touch so I'll stick around.

Are there any posts topics you would like to see around here? Any changes you can recommend? I'm all eyes!

Heading Home!

I am going home in just a few days, the process however is not as simple. It will be long days of flights and paperwork, sporadic sleep and time changes that will for sure make me walk around like a zombie. Up until this point I never believed I would be going home. I knew at some point I had to but I never made plans or even allowed myself to get too happy. The sarcastic side of me was just waiting for something to go wrong. My other, more positive side was hoping for the best.

 

Now I feel like I'm awaking from anesthesia after surgery. The numbness is starting to subside, you can tell by my posts, you can see the change of frequency and tone of my posts. Fortunately I ended up in a very good place, the American Embassy. The living conditions are great but nothing beats being home with my loved ones. I have worked non-stop for almost a year now, 10-12 hour days, seven days a week. Some of us have compared pictures of when we first left and we certainly look tired now. I met someone who I hadn't seen in months and he looked so tired!

 

With the wedding being just over a month from now I am finally starting to feel alive and excited, not that I wasn't before but now that I am going home I know this is for real! I miss Mr. E so much but I've been too tired to dwell on it. Now that I am going home I am starting to get excited about seeing him again. I miss him so much! My family finally made their travel reservations for the wedding, my dress arrived around Thanksgiving, my jewelry is almost done. This is so real!

 

I am a very girly girl and fortunately there is a beauty salon where I can splurge on little things like a manicure and pedicure. I have not worn civilian clothes in something like 42 weeks (I didn't count the mid-tour vacation) and I can't wait to get back in my jeans.

 

I will miss a few things:

 

The people (well, some of them)

Free food and water

Free gym

Free laundry services

Free first class mail

Free uniforms

Being relatively bill free

 

I will not miss:

 

THE DUST

Lack of colors, flowers, trees, etc

Violence

Lack of cell phone

Lack of civilian clothes

Inability to drink (not that I really drink)

Being away from family and friends

The time difference

 

Thank you so much for sticking around during the last year, I trully appreciate you! Now, I need ideas on how to keep my mind occupied while we travel. Any ideas?

Merry Christmas 2010!

Happy SITSmas day!

Just as we did last year we are showing off our Christmas cards at SITS. I am proud to say these bad boys were sent out yesterday! We have been deployed most of the year and the support we have received from everyone has been so great! I wanted to send them a picture we took here not to long ago and thank everyone for their support, love and prayers. 

Here is our card, now let me see yours!

Happy Thanksgiving 2011!

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so much, as usual I am thankful for finding The One, our families and friends who have been incredibly supportive while we've been away. I'm thankful to God for giving my mother the strength to deal with her mother's loss very gracefully. I'm also thankful for those that were part of my life that are no longer with us. Their presence helped shape my life and become who I am.

Many Thanks

 Etsy

This year has been an amazing year, were were both deployed, ended up in the same place and we were safe even in the midst of the many attacks we've had. Thankfully this is not Iraq circa 2007 but it's still Iraq. I also want to thank you, although my post frequency has been reduced considerably I often think about you guys and all the things I would like to share with you.  

I already had my Thanksgiving lunch and it was great, now back to work...there is nothing else to do around here.

Love you guys and please share, What are you thankful for this year?

I Miss Him So Much

He left this week and I miss him so much. I know we have been extremely blessed to have been together most of this deployment but I can't help it, he's such a big part of me. If you met him you would understand, he has a big personality, there's no one he ever met that didn't like him. He's the kind of guy that makes everyone feel good about themselves.

He's a southern gentleman and he has that charm, sometimes he can lay it on too thick if you know what I mean but I just laugh. He tells me every chance he gets how beautiful I am (even when I look like the above picture), how excited he is about us and that he can't wait until I become his wifey poo. His words, not mine :-))

Although I'm sad I'm also content because it means I can finally start counting down the days until I get home. It won't be long...Until then I will miss him with all my heart.

Sushi

I miss you dearly but I work almost 12+hrs a day, there's has been no time to plan a wedding, sketch, catch up with all of my blogs, tweet or stay in touch with you guys. Everyday here seems to run into each other, sometimes I look up and a week has gone by (which is great). I work all day, take half a day off once a week and we take it easy on Sundays.

It's amazing the things you miss when you are away like this, like...my Mom, although I moved away from home 12 years ago I've missed her so much since I've been here. She's had a rough last few months but if you see here you would never be able to tell.

Source

I miss colors, flowers, fabric, sewing, quilts, SUSHI, OMG how I miss good regular food. I am not complaining by any means, we have a very good dining facility and I've eaten lobster and crab legs much more often than any time I've been at home. There are some things you can't help but miss though...Mr. E's homemade biscuits, or one of his great steaks or his Greek spaghetti mmmmm. Guess who'll be doing most of the cooking once we get home?

Speaking of which, Mr. E is doing great, working long hours and learning so much about the finance industry, not bad for a guy that used to hang around tanks! We are both so glad to be fortunate to be here with each other and we thank God every day but we can't wait to come home!

In the meantime we'll keep working from sun up to sun down, that always makes the time go by faster!

I'm here, Discussing Wedding Colors

(Cont.)

It had been relatively peaceful in Baghdad since the elections and we even thanked God for that on the service before Easter. The next day I could hear faint explosions, frankly it sounded like thunder to me but the next day I walked in the office and read about the Easter explosions in Baghdad, up to 30 people dead and hundreds wounded. It is one thing to be here alone, another to be with the one you care about. I don’t worry so much about me but I worry about him worrying about me.

Days are long around here, I will probably be at work around 10-12 hours a day but that includes several breaks for lunch, dinner and workout time. It is one of the keys to staying sane around here, staying busy as much as you can throughout the day and only going to your sleeping quarters to sleep.

The good news for us is that Mr. Encore and I have designated specific days and times to spend together. We have dinner together on Wednesdays, spend a few hours together on Friday afternoon and we meet up at the WiFi spot to check email and surf the internet and few nights a week.

We have discussed wedding options and I love this look I found here a while ago:



Once I saw these pictures I sent them to Mr. E via email a while back and asked him what he thought, he replied: "I love the pictures you sent, the first one with the really vibrant colors on the table entitled Peacock Tables is absolutely beautiful!! It reminds me of you. If I had to draw a picture of your love and passion I would use those colors to do it".

Needless to say friends, he's a keeper...

I've missed you!

This training period has been a very long journey filled with long and difficult days at times. Last year (2009) was a wonderful year and I knew this one would be good but challenging. For starters we would both be deployed and apart, I knew that in itself would be hard. I knew it would be hard but we have managed to stay in touch as much as possible and it has helped somewhat. However, I did not know how hard it would really be. Two weeks after arriving to train with a unit that is not my own and I knew no one I received an emergency message from the Red Cross telling me that my beloved Grandma Dalila had passed away in Puerto Rico. I am glad I was given the opportunity to make a quick trip to PR in order to attend her wake and funeral.

Grandma Dalila was one of the strongest, most kind hearted women I've ever met, she didn't have a mean bone in her body and I never heard her speak negatively about anybody. She was loved by many and her constant acts of kindness stay with me to this day. I could only hope that I live to become half the woman she was, I will forever miss you "Abuelita Dalila".

Immediately after her funeral I returned to training, I returned to the place I was starting to resent. I tell you why; in a group of almost 80 soldiers less than 1% are females, for the most part they have been respectful but many resent a female in a senior position and some were not afraid to hide those feelings. After a few weeks I knew I had my work cut out for myself but I kept marching along until we reached the final training day.

It has been hard dealing with this environment, missing Mr. E. dearly, worrying about how my Mom is coping with the passing of my grandmother and to make matters worse, I just found out that my beloved nephew has been diagnosed with Autism. As I head to a far away land my heart aches for my mother and sister, I wish I could be there for them but as they know, I am only an email away (I hope), as far as Mr. E, I'm praying that we end up being somewhat close to each other and that we may have the opportunity to see each other a couple of times during our deployment.

I am looking forward to a steady schedule once I arrive in-country. I want to share with you our wedding planning journey all the way from Iraq more frequently because frankly, I've missed you too!

Big Announcement!

Well... it looks like I have a big announcement. I will have to re-adjust my blogging schedule in order to stay in sync with my readers...it looks like I'll be blogging all the way from IRAQ! Yes, I will be deploying to the Middle East in early Spring but I will be heading out for training in a few weeks. No worries though, I will still blog, it will be really interesting to blog from Iraq but I'm up for the challenge.

Believe it or not, the things I will miss the most (besides Mr. E) are my manicures, pedicures and hair appointments. Not to worry though, Mr. E sent me an email early this morning and this is what I found:

"Baby you gonna be right at home!!"

Photo taken by Mr. E

Yes, in the interest of national security there is a Beauty/Nail/Spa facility in the Middle East...I think I will be alright...

My First Quilt!

This Encore Bride is a firm believer in giving experiences as gifts instead of "things" however, with Mr. Encore's impending deployment I knew there will be no time for any travel plans for Christmas. Instead I remembered how Mr. E fondly recalled the memories of his grandmother hand quilting when he was growing up. I decided to make him a quilt just in case it got a little cooler at night and that green Army blanket wasn't enough to keep him warm. It took me about 40 hours to finish (8 alone to cut the fabric!)

The blocks are finished and the border is set.

(click pictures to enlarge)

Here is a picture of it completed, please excuse the poor lighting on these pictures.

The back of the quilt, you can't see it but there is a custom silk label on the corner with his name, a scripture and my name.

This is what he found when he opened his last present on Christmas, I had a blue ribbon and bow around it inside of the box.

I never dreamed that he would be so touched by the quilt! Due to his deployment I could only give him things he could use and take with him; an iTunes giftcard, movies, hi-tech watch, calendar, custom letterpress stationery with his rank and name, a control remote Army tank (just for kicks) and the quilt.

He knew I'd been working very hard on this quilt and I had to tell him a "white" lie so he wouldn't know it was for him, when he opened the box and saw the quilt he was in shock. He took the quilt with us to his family (we did Christmas at home before we left for his family) and made sure to tell everyone about it.

The quilt is not perfect, it was my first and although I've been sewing a very long time I never made one before. Due to the prints I chose I realized after I started that it would take a while to cut as all the prints needed to be matched (the guitars, diagonal lines, linear prints, etc.) In the end I'm so glad it turned out well and all of my efforts paid off, it was a hit and is currently somewhere in the Middle East keeping my honey warm as I write this.

In the process I learned to never underestimate the appreciation for giving someone your time as you create something for them, small or large, it is the thought and effort that counts. Did you make any handmade gifts this season? Did people react as you expected once they saw them?

Update: Just received this picture from Mr. E, I can only imagine the looks he's getting!

Merry Christmas!We're Out!

Mr. Encore is finally on his way home after being stranded in the Philadelphia airport for the last 36 hours. We are heading south for Christmas and will be back next weekend, after that he is off to the Middle East so please keep him in your prayers.

I wish everyone a beautiful Christmas/Holiday and I hope you get all your hearts desires!

How cute are my Christmas cards? I ordered them from Tiny Prints as they matched my Christmas decor this year. I was very happy with my purchase (they did not endorse this, I purchased them, was happy and thought I would share them with you)

See you next week!

Trying time and lessons learned

As I mentioned two posts ago I was involved on a small accident while driving Mr. E's truck. I didn't think it was that bad, until I came out of the truck and looked at the front. I'm not sure if you can tell but there is radiator fluid all over the front, therefore I couldn't drive it. The other person I hit was a younger lady, my first reaction was to get out of the truck and go check on her as I wasn't sure if she had kids with her. She didn't but was crying and calling her mother, boyfriend, neighbor...I don't know.

I calmly shared my information, took hers, called the cops and waiting inside the freezing truck. I was surprised at how calm, cool and collected I was...until I called Mr. Encore. I lost it but he just wanted to make sure I was OK, which I was.

I had never been on a car accident before where I had to call the tow truck and take the truck straight to a body shop. I was amazed how quickly I went into planning mode, called the insurance, call a friend for references on body shops, called the insurance again, etc. By the time the cop showed up I had everything lined up, the tow truck took me straight to the body shop, the rental car agency picked me up and I was at work 3 hours later from the time it happened.

What I learned: trust the professionals, they do this everyday. I quickly compared this to planning a wedding or major event in life. Since you don't do this everyday, hire the best planner you can afford, she/he can save you money and keep you under budget if you let her/him do their job. Also, ask for references and go from there, let them do what they do best and it will be as painless as possible.

All in all I had my truck back in three days looking brand new, thanks to all who made it possible, they did an awesome job!

Now, if I just had that much patience with the airline that left Mr. Encore stranded in Philadelphia for almost 48 hours this weekend.

Happy Holidays!

Happy SITSmas day!

(click to enlarge)

Photo taken by Ashley Brokop

May your season be filled with laughter!~The Encores

Hopes for 2010

I truly feel like I've been given too much so far. 2009 has been a beautiful year and I am very thankful. My few hopes for 2010 are the continued safety of Mr. Encore as he deploys to the Middle East, the strength for all of us that love him to get through this period of separation and the health and happiness of our family and friends.

Thanks!

Thanks to all the Sitstahood ladies who have stopped by, commented and provided their support throughout my journey, your comments and luv keep me going, THANK YOU and I wish you much love, happiness and health for the new year.

In case you are wondering what SITS stands for, it is for "The Secret is in the Sauce", a blog by a "group of women bloggers dedicated to supporting one another by leaving comments. Lots and lots of comments". Please stop by SITS and join the community!

Life Is So Meant To Be...

Just after I posted the last entry I received an email from my future mother in law (my family and friends don't know about the blog), it said:

Hi (Ms. Encore Bride),

I truly hope you can open this site. This made me think of you and all the good you have brought into (Mr. Encore's) life. I give you credit for building a bridge for (Mr. Encore's middle daughter) and (Mr. Encore). She is truly taken with you and who you are. I could go on listing, but decided I might not love you if you had the "Big Head". Ha!

Love,
(Mr. Encore's mom)

-----------
*All names have been changed to protect the innocent

This is the video she was referring to:



I laughed so hard after reading her email but almost cried after watching the video and it occurred to me. That's what moms do, they build cathedrals...that's my answer to my kids debate, that's what makes all the sacrifices worth it, boy I tell you...this is so meant to be!

The Encore Bride's Kids Debate

***Calling all moms***

I've been having an internal battle for some time now in reference to whether I want to have kids or not.

*Disclaimer: Mr. E is fully supportive on whatever decision I make and I fully understand that it will be a mutual decision.

Source: PBK

BLUF (bottom line up front)

I know having kids is very hard, I know firsthand the sacrifices that go into raising a child (from my mom), the sleepless nights, the lack of freedom to go about without having to schedule babysitters, the financial strain, the activities they will have to be chauffeured to, the homework and school projects headache, etc. etc.

I am aware of all the hardships that entail having kids. Moms, I need your honest opinion, what are the pros? What makes you appreciate all the hardships of having them, what makes it all worth it? If you have to leave an anonymous comment in order to be brutally honest please go ahead and do so. On the other hand, what do you miss about being childless, do you regret having kids? Seriously, I would like to know both sides, most people talk about the bad but I don't hear too much about the good so here's your chance. THANK YOU!!!

What I'm Thankful For: Finding "The One"

As we celebrate Thanksgiving this week I am most thankful for the health of my family and friends, the strength to endure some hard periods in my life and finally, finding the "one". I will try to make this as short as I can as I know that people get bored of long posts (I know I do!)

Source: Smock Paper

I've been divorced for 8 years, during that time I have been in long term relationships, dated and was even engaged before. Most of those relationships were pretty bad now that I look back on them. It came a point in my life where I just gave up on the idea of ever marrying again, finding the one or having a family one day. I was at peace with that idea and my independence, in fact I was nervous that I would never be able to share my space with anyone again.

Just I was coming to terms with that idea, I became friends with this coworker of mine, he is a very extrovert southern guy, the kind that you just can't walk by without talking to. As I just mentioned, he was the typical southern guy from the deep south, I was born in the US but raised in Puerto Rico (we both have accents!). Due to our different backgrounds I was SURE, let me say again SURE that nothing would ever go beyond a friendship for us, not to mention that he had a reputation for liking the ladies a bit too much.

Mr. E. never gave up and in the course of almost 8 months he asked me out an average of every two days, I couldn't believe how "busy" his social life was, he always had tickets or an event to invite me to. In the meantime I kept dating the same losers and getting even more disappointed. To the point that one day I prayed and told God to forget about sending me the one because "I want someone who is excited about me as I am about them".

After 8 months I got tired of turning him down and wanted him to stop asking because we would never be. I sent him a text message and asked what he wanted from me, he said he couldn't tell me over a text message, the phone or at work (I was intrigued by that), so he asked me to dinner. I said yes hoping that all I would get out of the deal was peace and a free meal.

Source: Le Love

We had dinner then went to a movie and he brought me home. By that time he'd told me he wanted to know what we had, and assured me that we didn't even have to see each other every day. Again in my mind I knew that it was a huge no-go, no way was I going to date this "country boy", well, he took me home and boldly kissed me goodnight....That's all I needed, I knew I'd kissed my prince!

I would be lying if I told you that I knew he was the one from that kiss, it was different though, I had to sit down and stare at my wall for 45 minutes until he called to let me know he was home. We've been together ever since (everyday I might add). Two weeks after that kiss I had been traveling for work and returned on Valentine's Day. His family was in town visiting him and he insisted that I went straight to his house from the airport and meet his parents.

He had two dozen roses waiting for me but we (his parents and I) wouldn't allow him to pull me aside, finally he did, gave me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings and I read the note from the flowers, it said:

"Baby, every time I see you it's like seeing you for the first time, I'm so excited about us". -S.

Right then and there I knew he was "the one", I knew that God had finally answered my prayers. I have been in the most mature, loving, respectful and supportive relationship of my life ever since that day. I don't regret all the frogs I kissed, for them I would've never known that I found my Prince and I am thankful for that too.

Source: The Princess and The Frog Website

The Encore Bride-A New Chapter II

...after finally breaking down from all the emotions stirred up I comforted myself by laying on the couch and watching way to many wedding shows. Between "Say Yes To The Dress, "Bridezillas", "My Fair Wedding", "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?", "Battle of the Wedding Planners" etc. instead of cheering up I developed a Love/Hate relationship for the wedding industry. Frankly I shouldn't fault the industry, it's up to the consumers to buy into the crap they sometimes sell. As an Encore Bride I know that although my wedding day will be memorable I KNOW it will not be the most important day of my life, God I hope not! I would like to achieve some goals with Mr. Encore, become a successful business owner and more importantly bring new life into this world, now that's what I call pretty darn special!

I wanted to throw things at the TV after watching the many brides that go shopping for "The Dress" with a set budget, only to try on a dress twice and three times more expensive that their budget. In a recent episode the bride blurted that the dress was as much as her entire budget for the wedding! OK people, what's wrong with that picture? More than likely that dress will only be worn once (unless you sell it or hope to have a girl that will have the same taste as you in fashion).

I want a memorable event, don't get me wrong and my favorite designer-Pronovias, is not what we call "very affordable" but 8-10k for a dress! Now granted, if my wedding had a six figure budget then a five figure dress budget would be quite normal. But if the dress is more than the entire wedding budget? Come on!

As a result I decided to go back to my Encore Bride principals, "I'm older, wiser, in love and planning this celebration my way" yes, I am going to plan a fabulous party within our budget when the time comes and I will be wise about it. Inspiration for a party can come from anywhere, there's no set of rules that decide the things you must include, the traditions you must follow and how much you need to spend for the "most important day of your life" pleeaasse!

In the end, that's why I revamped the blog, I wanted a cleaner, brighter site where my inspiration could take center stage (shout to Sugarelli for creating a new banner and avatar in record time!). By inspiration I mean all the different things that I can use to design this party and not necessarily from the wedding industry. There are plenty of blogs that showcase those ideas and they do so very well.

So, if you're looking for non-traditional, individual style inspiration for your day stick around I promise to share my ideas of what that is for me with you. Thanks for sticking around!

Now excuse me while I call Elie Saab to have him recreate this in blue for my wedding! :-))

Source: Elie Saab via NYMag.com